Erin

Erin is my 5 year old daughter (or 5 and a half as she always reminds me - that extra half is very important!). Tonight when the house was quiet and I was the only one awake I heard her crying. She was in bed and had sore legs (over tired no doubt). I gave her some medicine and rubbed her legs and then she came down to the lounge with me and lay in my arms. My little girl has gotten big! I had a difficult pregnancy with her. I was lucky enough to get pregnant on our honeymoon with her. I was over the moon and totally ignorant about being pregnant when I got that faint positive line on the home pregnancy test in March 2000. A few weeks later I came crashing back to reality when I started to bleed and was told I was going to miscarry this little beating sac I saw on the screen. I was devastated and scared - scared of waiting to miscarry. What would it be like? Would it hurt? Thankfully the doctors were wrong and I did not miscarry. I had more scary moments throughout that pregnancy and was diagnosed later on with placenta previa. Erin was born on 1 Nov 2000 by planned c-section and weighed 5 lbs 9 oz. She was so tiny and so perfect. I couldn't believe that Dean and I had created this little miracle. Now here we are 5 and a half years later. She is an amazing child. So outgoing and happy. She can also be a little madam at times but what 5 year old girl isn't! Holding her in my arms tonight brought a lot of memories rushing back. While in some ways I long for it all to slow down and for her to stop growing up so fast I also can't wait to see what the future will bring for her - good things I hope. I hope she will always know how much I love her and how I will always be here for her. I love you Erin and no matter how big you get you will always be my little girl. Love Mummy. XXXXXXXXXX

Perfect parents

Do they actually exist? Certainly there are many out there that think they are perfect parents and unless you do everything the way they do things then you are not perfect. These people really annoy me! For example I was just reading a thread on Trademe where someone asked if anyone had ever kicked their teenager out of the family home. This mother had been having a terrible time with her teenager who would not follow any family rules and she had other children in the house and she was concerned for their safety. She sounded like a very caring mother who needed support and while she did get some she also got a lot of "perfect" parents who of course stated "I would never throw my child out of the house". Did any of these parents actually have teenagers? No of course not! I certainly cannot imagine ever throwing my children out but then they are only 2 and 5 - who knows what will happen when they are 16 and 19. I'm not going to tell a mother with a teenager she is wrong. I don't know her and I don't know her situation. I think some of these perfect parents should be careful when they say "never". I hope that none of us ever finds ourselves in a situation where we have to make a terrible decision like this but no-one can predict the future. Oh and then of course there was the person who said maybe the behaviour of the teenager was down to the poor parenting. While I am sure the behaviour of many children is down to the parent that is not always the case and once again people are just assuming. I have a friend who was always such a good child yet her brother was terrible yet they were brought up exactly the same and had excellent parents. Who knows why he went off the rails. Anyway that is my little rant for the day. As you can tell I am not a perfect parent - lol! I don't have all the answers and if someone asks for advice I will give them advice if I can and not abuse!

Additional note 2 days later - I feel like I am contradicting myself after my Blog about Erin and saying I would always be there for her yet saying I would kick my kids out if I had to - lol! I honestly can't imagine ever doing it but I know if I felt my life or the life of my other child was at risk then I would have to do it and it would be my last resort. Hope that makes sense!

Winter blues

Weather really does seem to effect your mood. While I don't suffer from SADD or anything I do find I feel happier and more energetic when the sun is out. Yesterday was a glorious winter day - sunny and mild. Today is not cold but wet and yuck and I have no motivation to do anything. The forecast for the next 4 days is for much of the same - blah! Down south they have had some very bad snow storms and a lot of people are stranded without power so I shouldn't really complain. I often wonder what my friends in places like Minnesota and Wisconsin think when I moan about how cold it is because compared to the winter temperatures they get our idea of "cold" is nothing. I am sure though if you lived in a really cold place you would have good winter clothing and excellent heating in your house and power lines would be built to withstand heavy snow fall unlike those down south. In New Zealand we tend to only heat the living room in the house and all huddle in there and freeze our butts off when we go anywhere else in the house - lol! And of course where I live no-one would have a clue how to drive in snow - just as well it never snows here! We went away last weekend and had to drive over a very big hill that sometimes gets snow on the top in winter. I was terrified it would snow in case we crashed the car even though it would have been great to let the girls see snow for the first time in their life.

The All Blacks play Ireland tomorrow night.


A photo of our backyard a few weeks ago - this is the type of winter day I love:

Welcome to the beginning!

My very first "blog". It is amazing how the world is changing. If you had asked me last year what a blog was I would have had no idea at all. 10 years ago I probably wouldn't have known what Email was either! My Internet is one of my life lines. I have made so many friends and discovered so many things via this computer. I think parenting has been what really made me get in to computers. It is so wonderful to be able to "talk" to people who know what you are going through. Some of my Internet friends have been in my life now for over 5 years and I really treasure those friendships. Some I have met, some I have spoken to on the phone and others I hope to one day meet in the future. Sadly some have vanished off the face of the earth but I guess that happens in real life too (I only have one friend from my school days that I keep in touch with). But life moves on and you make new friends even though the old ones are often still in your thoughts.

On Tuesday I turned 38. How can I possibly be 38???!!! I still feel like I am in my 20s. I used to think 40 was old but now I think life just gets better and better as you age and 40 is not so old after all. Heck - I remember when I thought 25 was old lol! All the best things in my life have happened in my 30s and that is mainly marrying my wonderful husband and giving birth to my beautiful daughters. Now I have been married for 6 years and have a 5 year old and a 2 year old - I am finally grown up!

Blowing out those candles (we didn't have 38 - lol!):